As a young child, I thought it was cool to light my mothers nylon panty hose on fire. They shot up like flash paper and I would steal them from her any chance I got. My back yard was littered with little blackened spots of ash and it would drive dad crazy trying to figure out what the hell was going on. This came to an end one day when mom left for work, and I was to be on the school bus soon after. As she closed the door behind her, my delight found a pair of her hose draping from the back side of the doorknob. I couldn’t resist, and my parents were gone. So without missing a step, I pulled out my trusty matches and lit those thigh highs up. Little did I know that mom had forgotten her lunch bag and just as the flame arose, she came walking back in to catch me with a box of matches next to the flaming hot door she’d just reentered. She said “Get to school we’ll talk about this later”. That afternoon after school, she walked me outside, and armed with every sock in my drawers, she forced me to watch as she lit them on fire. I thought it was pretty cool. Little did I know that I’d have to live the next month without socks on my feet. Very embarrassing for gym class and quite uncomfortable for my sweating piggies after a few days.