“The only true wisdom is knowing that you know nothing.”

- Socrates

It’s true. We humans all think we’ve gotten so far, but really, we don’t know how the universe started, what’s outside of it, or even how to do certain things like become invisible. True, we don know much more than we did a hundred years ago, but in some years we will look back on ourselves and say “boy did they not know anything.” However, a person should not take this quote negatively, they should think “now I need to go out there and try to learn something, and to teach others, in order to know more.” Hopefully this made sense :)

Two tears in a bucket, Mother Fuck it! – Lady Chablis

and

”‘Speaking of livers,’ the unicorn said. ‘Real magic can never be made by offering up someone else’s liver. You must tear out your own, and not expect to get it back. The true witches know that.’” – Peter S. Beagle

We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have, but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have. ~Frederick Keonig

It’s always the same whenever this question is asked because…... it’s my favorite =)

“Just because you’re smart doesn’t mean you can’t act stupid.”

-Christopher Lloyd

Bonus points to the first Jelly who knows what movie in which this quote was coined.

“I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things.”
Dorothy Parker

“If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.”

~Frank Zappa

“Today you are you, that is truer than true, there is no one alive that is youer than you.” -Dr. Seuss

“The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” -Ghandi

The one that says something along the lines of: we’re both atheists, but I believe in one less god than you.

Oh crap. I also like “All thinking men are atheists.” -Hemmingway

I can’t pick just one. :\

“Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.”
Hesketh Pearson

“Life is pretty simple: You do some stuff. Most fails. Some works. You do more of what works. If it works big, others quickly copy it. Then you do something else. The trick is the doing something else.”-Leonardo da Vinci

You truly possess only whatever will not be lost in a shipwreck.

—El Ghazali

In this sense, everything to which you grant your love is yours.

—Ayn Rand

There is no shortcut to truth.

—Alfred North Whitehead

And finally:

”“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; because there is not effort without error and shortcomings; but who does actually strive to do the deed; who knows the great enthusiasm, the great devotion, who spends himself in a worthy cause, who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement and who at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly. So that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.””

—Theodore Roosevelt

“In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman.”
Margaret Thatcher
You’ll probably get lurve from some female Jellies :-)

OOps. I didn’t mean to put it like that. ROFL! Can’t change it now. Ha ha ha. It’s still a good quote.

“My swearing doesn’t mean any more to me than your sermons do to you”.
Mark Twain
comment made to Rev. Joe Twichell, quoted in Mark Twain and Hawaii, by Walter Francis Frear

“All the genuine, deep delight of life is in showing people the mud-pies you have made; and life is at its best when we confidingly recommend our mud-pies to each other’s sympathetic consideration.”

— J. M. Thorburn, as quoted by Susanne K. Langer in her 1941 preface to Philosophy in a New Key

“The God of the Old Testament is arguably the most unpleasant character in all fiction: jealous and proud of it; a petty, unjust, unforgiving control-freak; a vindictive, bloodthirsty ethnic cleanser; a misogynistic, homophobic, racist, infanticidal, genocidal, filicidal, pestilential, megalomaniacal, sadomasochistic, capriciously malevolent bully.”
-Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion

“That rug really tied the room together.”
-The Dude

“Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.”
Oscar Wilde

Does anyone remember, or can they help me find a quote that I believe is from Mark Twain.

I’m paraphrasing. I just can’t remember it exactly, but the meaning I remember is something akin to:

Nothing is more appropriate than a well placed profanity.

Does anyone know this one?

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies I just did a quick search for “well placed profanity” and found numerous quotes on @oogle. I’m guessing the term is endemic in our society. I’m thinking it’s been around long enough it very well could be attributed to Mark Twain.

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”
Voltaire

Faith is an oasis in the heart that will never be reached by the caravan of thinking.

Kahlil Gibran

“and those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music”
~f. nietzsche

“Man, if you gotta ask, you’ll never know.”
-Louis “Satchmo” Armstrong (1900–1971) When asked to define jazz

“Think for yourself and question authority.”

fucking forgot who said this.

“The secret to life lies not in learning how to survive a storm, but rather in learning how to dance in the rain.”

—Unknown

@KatetheGreat Timothy Leary?

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard There we go. Thanks dear.

I’m not sure who said this first, but I first heard this from my son (who was always getting in trouble). Does anyone know the author?

“If you’re gonna skate on thin ice, you might as well dance!” I kind of like the philosophy.

“Life is not a garden, don’t be a hoe.”
-Big Mama

Or! In the words of @Blueroses:

“I like swiss cheese. It’s the one cheese I can draw and tell the difference from. I can draw American cheese, but some people might think it’s Cheddar.”
-Anonymous

The only people to get even with are those that have helped you.

“When dealing with noble men, I make them my equal. When dealing with fools, I learn from them”
Confucius

It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool then to speak and remove all doubt. I thought this was a Twain quote but a quick search attributes it to Abraham Lincoln.

The sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new. Samuel Beckett

“Nature loves courage”
Terrence McKenna

“I didn’t know they gave out rings at the holocaust!” – Zach G. (Alan) The Hangover
Basically anything that comes out of his mouth too.

“Haters don’t hate you, they hate themselves. You are just an image of what they want to be.”

“Frisbeetarianism: the belief that when I die, my soul goes up on a roof and gets stuck.” – Geroge Carlin

“I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.” I know thats not a quote, but I live by it.

@MacBatman31, it is a quote, all right: it’s from the poem “Invictus,” by William Ernest Henley. [ link ]

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

I know, I am going to get the poem tattooed to me :-), I just didn’t know if that would count for the question is all. Thanks though!

“If it isn’t broke, fix it until it is!”

My paraphrasing of the mindset of anyone who just has to redesign something that most people enjoy using in its extant form.

One familiar example of this is another site that’s been occasionally mentioned here since December, 2009.

“BE NOT AFFRAID OF ANY MAN, NO MATTER HIS SIZE. IF DANGER THREATENDS, CALL ON ME, I WILL EQUALIZE” Sam Colt 1873

Listen to your conviction, even if they seem absurd to your reason.

Altruism is the mark of a superior being.

[ancient Egyptian proverbs]

“If you can meet with triumph & disaster & treat those two impostors just the same.”

@MacBatman31, a quote is someone else’s exact words. So lines quoted from a poem are definitely a quote. Anything is a quote if someone other than you said it and you are quoting it.

“American democracy will never be destroyed by outside enemies—but it can be destroyed by the malefactors of great wealth who subtly rob and undermine it from within.” – Theodore Roosevelt
(favorite for today, anyway)

I’m getting my spy gear in tip top shape… going deep undercover… covered in spam.
-me

What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us…
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

“A man with an argument is no match for a man with an experience.”
-someone smart