@ANef_is_Enuf: “The kid grows up seeing their parents’ true colors.”
I get what you’re saying, but I don’t think it’s good enough. I’m not sure what the laws say, but I can’t see how the flat rate addresses the fact that you’ve created a human being. If I were to father a child and raise the child and it would cost x dollars per year, then I would expect x dollars per year to be the cost if the father leaves (plus other support if the father ditches the mom, etc). That x value may be different depending on many factors. Say you live in Wellesley, MA and your child goes to private school. If you leave, the cost of continuing this lifestyle for your kid is clearly many times more than someone living in a small apartment rental in Boston, with the kid going to public school.
Here is where your father would say that we shouldn’t be olbligated to spoil the child. So, the father decides to leave. The kid in Wellesley should now be forced to rent an apartment in Boston and go to public school? I don’t care what people think of the spoiled lifestyle of private school and fancy towns – the father can’t just ditch the family and expect to save money in the process.
Huge disclaimer is probably appropriate here: My father ditched me, my sister, and my mother when I was 12 because he met a young blond. We went from middle class to lower-middle overnight. He was obligated to provide some minor money and I did see his “true colors”, but that wasn’t enough. My sister and I have struggled in so many ways because of the economics of a single-parent household and his minimum support. Being able to say, “you’re a selfish asshole, Dad” doesn’t make up for it. Him having had to pay his fucking share would have made up for it.
We have too many humans on this planet. If you decide to bring one into this world, you are morally obligated to live for this child. My obligation to my children is not just because I love them. I created them. They are my responsibility to raise in the best way (emotionally, financially) possible.