Wow! Great answers everyone….thank you. It’s interesting, isn’t it? I dated someone who was so inept at romance, or apologies or (anything else, really) that it was living without water in a desert. When he knew he had “blown it” he just sort of mumbled an apology. There were never any gifts…no gestures..and none of that “other stuff” you all seem to think “makes it all up” in one gesture that somehow benefits you too. If he had just bought me one present, one thoughtful gift, something that I really wanted (and it didn’t have to be expensive) I would have just melted right there. That’s how much the gesture from this particular man (who was clueless) would have meant. I would have then been open to just “talking”. But he never did…anything, really. He was amazingly thoughtless. I really do think that some men’s development is just arrested and they just use the “What more can I do?” excuse when they are just lazy and can’t be bothered to be a gentleman.( I don’t need to tell you where this relationship went.)
Then, I was in a relationship with someone who was really open emotionally and when he was “in the doghouse” so to speak, he would still do something nice first…I would come home and the house would be cleaned and there would be a candlelit dinner (for example)....and that was it for me. I was a goner. We would talk and then only then would I even be in the mood for the other stuff. So, it didn’t take some big diamond encrusted necklace, okay? Just saying @Blackberry. I’ve also been given huge displays of flowers and you are right, sometimes we are madder than ever with that. Here’s a hint….give the flowers 24 hours after the dust has settled. Not right when it happens, or you are liable to end up with flowers in your hair. And when you give the flowers, you should write a letter or note, too. Or say, “Listen here are some flowers….let’s go for a walk…to just sit and spend some time together.”
I cannot tell you how simple gestures of tenderness and thoughtfulness can turn things around…I suppose that was what prompted my question. I also had a dad who always gave presents to my mom (and vice-versa) so a gift/flowers/presents are really something that I resonate with…..and may not work with other women. And they weren’t always expensive gifts…just things that they both knew they would like. (Sometimes it was something as innocuous as a flashlight…“You told me that you needed a flashlight to keep in your car for emergencies.” I remember that one. You’d think my mom had been given the Hope Diamond. Why? Because it was a gesture that a) showed that he remembered b) showed that he truly cared about her safety. )
Thanks for answering….lurve coming to all.