Do to a desire for comfort on a blistering hot day, I drove to shade before dealing with the smell of smoke. As a result, I set a fire that burnt down 40 acres of hay. It was the first day they’d ever allowed me to drive a tractor. Unfortunately, the tractor I drove was the one they used to push the cow manure around, and the tail pipe was covered with the stuff. You do know that in some parts of the world they use cow patties as fuel to cook their dinners, don’t you?
When the boss came to watch the fire, I was utterly embarrassed. I fully expected a huge chewing out. I fully expected to be fired.
He never said a word to me about it. Not even the next week when I did something even more embarrassing (but only because of what had already happened). Now that I think of it, I wonder if they did this stuff to me on purpose. They gave me a different tractor this time. It had had a scoop in front, but they’d taken it off and covered the place where the hydraulic hoses connect with some kind of tape.
There were a bunch of us doing stuff to the hay in the field and the boss drove in and gestured for us to all drive up to him. He started talking to us, but I couldn’t hear him. So I stood up, and leaned closer, and I pushed one of the hydraulic levers accidentally. The valve opened and the the hydraulic fluid shot through the tape, spurting all over my white undershirt like a giant ejaculation.
I will never, ever forget the look on my boss’ face when this happened. I suspect he was praying for calmness with every ounce of tissue in his body. Must have worked. he never said anything about that, either.
I, of course, felt like a complete and utter fool.