The key to sexiness for me is how she plays. There are many different ways of playing, but usually they involve humor—a kind of wryness and self-mocking that is serious at the same time. I think my favorite kind of sexiness is when she looks at me and sees me staring intently at her and she knows my desire and she smiles and primps and vamps.
I know she knows how clicheed this is, and yet it works anyway, because we both know and we don’t care. This is between us both, and so we play with it and…. well, just thinking about it gets me aroused, shall we say.
I suppose some people would say she knows how to “work it.” She has a really hot body, but even if she didn’t, her humor and intelligence and ability to work it would have me wrapped around her finger.
I’ve been with other women, some more sexy than others. One, in particular, had a kind of quiet sex appeal. She wasn’t noisy and the clues she left about how she was feeling were very subtle, but I only needed to touch her skin or have her lie down next to me in order to get turned on.
The naked women in porn look exciting, but if they only mouth the cliches without throwing and sense of real liking into it, I might as well shoot the computer. But it’s really not the same at all. It’s great as a masturbatory tool, but it’s not really sexy. Sexy has a completely other dimension compared to porn. Any porn. No matter how good.
That dimension is made up of the way a woman acts in the world—how she thinks; how she acts; how she communicates with body and word. Her eyes dance; she dips her shoulder; looks from under her bangs. She shows me how much she wants me, and that desire that she has for me is the biggest turnon ever. No porn actess can do that. You have to be live and it has to be totally personal. Just for me. That’s truly sexy. That’s what gets me tied in a knot around her finger.