I’m not too sure I know what it means to feel part of the collective and that’s probably because I think there is a mini collective inside the greater collective. As a Fluther member and user, I feel part of the greater collective. However, the mini collective seems to be formed of people who have been here a long time and probably have enough things in common to bind them as a group. They follow unwritten rules and it takes time to get to know those as well as the inside jokes, etc. I think that having the same sense of humor, sharing a good percentage of viewpoints and actually having the desire to belong play a vital part in this mini collective.
Being a part of something depends on what you are looking for and requires that you invest feelings, emotions, and all that affective stuff which I find difficult to do on line. In real life, I do better in one-to-one situations than in groups, and that has proven true here as well. I have exchanged PMs with a couple of people that I find fascinating and that’s a good thing—very rewarding and fun.