I forgot to tell you the real reason your phone was missing for 2 days is the dog swallowed it and I found it in the yard this morning and cleaned it best I could…
“Rhad, I’ve left my wife. I’ve been following you on the Fluther for months. I think your answers are a bit unhinged at times, but I still find you endearing. Will you go out to dinner with me and put me out of my misery? xx Colin Firth”
“Rheb, I’ve left my wife. I’ve been following you on the Fluther for months. I am not sure 100% if I like your beard, but overall I think you are a manly man. Will you go out with me for a drink and see how we fare from there? xx Colin Firth” ~
I found your phone and returned it to you but I wanted to let you know I found it in a big pile of dog poo so I thought I would text it to you to let you know. LOL you are holding a phone that has dog shit on it LOL
“You have just won $180,000,000 and a new Smart phone. Come to bla bla and recieve it.” After I get the cash and the new cell, this old one will go flying like a Frisbie.
“Lying bitch! Did you forget I have CellTracker app? Now I know you didn’t really go to Idaho to see your sick grandma. You are at home. Remember when I said you don’t want to make me angry???”
This is your Mama! I’m on the roof of the building across and I see you with my binoculars! Pull out your penis off that young lady right now before you impregnate her or I’ll be coming to get yah!
“I put a plutonium battery in your phone. Now you’ll die before the battery does. Death to all technology and whoever uses it! Your acquaintance, Ted Krazynski.”