Me. This would be my motivational speech at my seminar after collecting 200 dollars from everyone.
Welcome everyone who just walked through the door. Let me say one thing first. Thank you all for your $200 donation. You are all here because you want to learn the secrets to success.
These are the steps.
1. Stop whining. Somewhere around the age of 10 you should’ve learned that it wasn’t productive.
2. Get off your lazy ass and make something of your life. It doesn’t all have to be big and glamourous. Just enough. If everone special who would clean the toilets.
3. Stop living in your head, and live a real life. You were not born to royalty. If you were you wouldn’t be here.
4. Nobody owes you a dam thing.
5. Stop being a sap and giving your money away to people who promise to straighten you out.
You are apparently too stupid to keep people like me away from your money. So stop thinking your are going to be the next Bill Gates. Settle for being Al Gore.
6. Now get the F out of my sight. Good night and coffee and cookies is now being served.
Thanks again. And don’t forget to grow up. Nobody is going to do it for you. Please be sure to pick up your balls on the way out you whiny idiot.
(of course I won’t really be in the room. I will only have a screen projection play to different conferences around the world and I’ll have a mask on.)
I’m not stupid.