Social Question

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

How often do you meet someone that you find difficult to like, and what do you think that says about you?

Asked by ANef_is_Enuf (26789points) September 4th, 2011
39 responses
“Great Question” (13points)

I’m asking this question because I’ve noticed recently that some of the people I’ve met in the last 6 months get on my nerves really easily. I have always felt like I am the type of person to get along with pretty much everyone, but lately it seems that a lot of the people I’ve met recently are difficult for me to like.
I have no idea if it is a fluke thing, and the things that I dislike about these people are genuinely irritating, or if I’ve become less friendly. I’m also curious to know why that is.

Do you get along with most people? Do you often find people difficult to like? What do you think that says about you?

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Answers

stardust's avatar

This is a really good question. When I meet someone that I really clash with, I tend to bring it back to myself. I ponder over what it is about that person that gets me so wound up. This usually occurs after some good old fashioned “venting”.
I do believe that the people we meet mirror our own traits so I try to learn the lesson and move along. Sometimes I figure it out sooner than later and vice versa. More often than not, I limit the amount of time spent with people who wind me up. Why bother?

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

I rarely run into that.They would have to be intentionally rude.
I am pretty friendly and will talk to most anyone.
I meet alot of weirdos that way.XD

Londongirl's avatar

I meet people I like and get along then I want to spend time with. Those I don’t like I just don’t get friendly with.

Cruiser's avatar

It is soooooo easy to like someone when you first meet them as usually only the good things about that person are available to you. Then as the walls are let down….bit by bit, little things come to the surface that tarnish that luster of this wonderful person you meet. Eventually crap comes out that is down right irritating and you cringe the minute they show up at your doorstep,

Londongirl's avatar

@Cruiser Of course it takes time to get to know the person, but I think if first like the person and then getting downhill to dislike the person will take a lot of irritations. I would let the person what I dislike, rather than just jumping into conclusion. I’m quite open to be honest about feelings when the other person open to it too.

Lightlyseared's avatar

I tend to be very irritated by people but then if I’m honnest I do tend to be very irritating as well.

Cruiser's avatar

@Londongirl I think you are spot on as it is human nature to want to like a person until they do this….
And keep doing it…..

SuperMouse's avatar

I tend to dislike pretty much everyone – for some reason that is my default position. If I were to take a lesson from that about myself it would be that I am quite a crummudgeon. I do try to be nice to people though and can get along with them if need be.

Hibernate's avatar

I’ve meet a lot who get on my nerves but usually I leave them be. To bad sometimes I notice that some old friends get on my nerves… and I can’t really let them fade away.

Well I do not get along that fine with people. I know I have my own issues but what can I say. If we all get along with everyone then we’d live in a different world.

Londongirl's avatar

If I value the friendship I will let them know what irritating me and how you get stronger of the friendship with someone. Most of the people nowadays though take very face value to judge or jump into conclusion of the person though.

Then you know sometimes you meet some new people first time and immediately you know you won’t get on then I will not spend time with them and spend time with those I feel value with.

Seelix's avatar

I have a hard time genuinely liking most people I meet. I’ve been getting better at not letting first impressions affect me, though. Having moved to a new city and a new university, I met a bunch of people in the last year and, had I not been patient enough to wait until the facade fell, I probably wouldn’t like any of them.

I’m much better at liking people who are liked well by friends, though. I recently met an old friend’s fiancee, and I thought, Well, if he’s choosing to spend his life with her, she has to be a good person. I went into the meeting with that in mind, and fell in love with her immediately.

marinelife's avatar

I seldom find someone that I strongly dislike. When I do, I listen to my instincts.

Jude's avatar

Could be my ovaries talking, but, are you talking about me? :(

digitalimpression's avatar

I can get along with almost anyone. Sometimes it requires a facade on my part, but I can make it peaceful usually. What that says about me is that I’m very non-confrontational. If a cook messes up my order, I just accept it, eat it, tip the waitress and move on. If someone wants to fight me, I usually talk them down from their tower of stupid.

I have noticed though, that as I have gotten older, my desire to confront people has increased. I am still non-confrontational for the most part, but certain people will trigger the fight in me and I won’t let them get away with it.

Londongirl's avatar

@digitalimpression I agree I don’t like confrontation too, but it is much better to talk about the issues. I think it is a much mature way to deal with disagreements.

HungryGuy's avatar

I, too, can get along with just about anyone. But there always seems to be a few people wherever I go who decide I’m too far out there (I wonder why) and like to trick/goad me into getting into flame wars with them.

digitalimpression's avatar

@Londongirl Perhaps that is why I’ve started picking up the habit of non-violent confrontation as a new hobby. =) You’re 100% correct.

Londongirl's avatar

@digitalimpression I think if you value the friendship you will talk straight to them. OK I agree if you are in restaurant or other public domains, then it is best to move on and not to confront, you might end up a fight!

digitalimpression's avatar

@Londongirl Don’t get me wrong. The facade I use to make certain situations agreeable is by no means a permanent one.. I don’t use it with friends and family.. it’s more of a survival technique used against those at work that I wouldn’t get along with in real life .

It is absolutely vital to be up front and honest with those you care about. The ones you don’t care about for justified reasons, on the other hand, can get bent. =)

Londongirl's avatar

@digitalimpression agreed with that.

ucme's avatar

I’m okay on that front, you’d have to be a king sized head of a dick for me not to like you.
What does that say about me? I have impeccable taste & a flawless profile ;¬}

Neizvestnaya's avatar

It’s kind of been my upbringing and also job training over the years to find a means of liking most people I meet, if only temporarily. I don’t consider most people to be friend material though.

blueberry_kid's avatar

I don’t really find anyone difficult to like because I really try to find friends of common intrest, and hobbies that go along with what I like. I really try to find a second me. Also, there are times where I’d pick a friend, and they didn’t like me. Sometimes it really hurts to find a friend who hates me, but I do that sometimes to. There are times where I pick a bad blueberry, but once in a blue moon, I see a person hard to get along with.

I think that says that I’m a judgemental person. I really try not to be, because I don’t like hurting someone’s feelings. When someone says “I’m friends with everyone.” They sometimes don’t really mean. But I do. I really care about what people think about me. I always try to make good friends, but never better friends.

JustJessica's avatar

I used to get along with everyone and after I hit 30 I started noticing that some people (most people) are just hard to swallow… I think this means I’m getting more picky with the people I choose to spend my time, I’ve raised the bar so to speak. Or maybe I’m just a judgmentally harsh bitch… I can however say I’m trying not be so judgmental.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

I can get along with anyone, if it’s necessary for my benefit. I don’t want to be friends with many people and what it shows about me is that my bullshit detector is in good order. Most people are only interested in superficial connections, in small talk, in cliche responses to everyday situations (that hurricane, man that was crazy…the new construction by the school, so loud and annoying, blah blah blah) and I don’t have time for them or for their interests. Many feel the same about me and that’s just fine.

ddude1116's avatar

There’re people I’ve met and I get along with all of them pretty well, for the most part it’s more trouble to not get along but there are certain people I’d like to see a lot more than others. I think this shows while I’m generally passive as far as interacting socially goes, I know the people I’m better suited towards.

woodcutter's avatar

I get along with everyone I have ever met, unless they later expose themselves as spiteful victims and make me tip toe around them like in a mine field. I dislike feeling intimidated into not being naturally me.

And then there are the elitist know – it – all’s. They expose themselves right off the bat and my contact with them is a one timer.
I can’t think of anyone who dislikes me and I tried hard to think back and no one comes to mind. I don’t come off as overbearing and apparently that makes people comfortable.

augustlan's avatar

I get along with most people I meet (in real life), but I don’t like or respect the vast majority of them. I think it means I have some sort of superiority complex, and that’s not a good trait. But there ya’ go.

tranquilsea's avatar

I can get along with most people. There are only a very few that I really dislike being around so I’m generally not around them.

linguaphile's avatar

I can get along with most people if I can communicate with them, but if I get a sense that this person is willing to be mean or toss someone off a cliff for their own benefit… I back away, fast.

IRL, I can carry a superficial conversation for a while and can superficially like a person, but if we can’t interact on a more substantial level, it usually stays at ‘superficial like.’ The people I like the most are the ones who can dive under the surface as deep as me. On Fluther, it’s actually different—I like a lot more people here than I do in my community. :D :D

Sunny2's avatar

I often find that people I don’t cozy up to quickly often have traits that have and don’t like in myself either. When I can see that, it’s easier to accept them in other people. However, there are also people I don’t care for at all and they are nothing like me at all. Usually, with those I find value differences that I prefer not to get involved with.

Scooby's avatar

I’m usually very cautious with people I first meet, so I tend to be polite, easy going & give them plenty of time to show their true colours…. I’m no extrovert so I neither probe too deeply or give much away myself…… If I like someone I’ll warm to them but it could take months before they show something that puts me off ( That’s why I never get too close too quickly ) mostly this is usually the way So I’m happy I haven’t wasted too much time & energy getting to know them….. I’m probably more wary of letting people in because if they did let me down how I might react but then again, I’ve met so many people who rub me up the wrong way, I know long in advance if they would potentially be someone who might let me down in some way…… These people I give a wide-birth to……. As I get older I know I’m getting less tolerant of younger people, particularly arrogant self obsessed sorts & know it all’s with no common sense who have a silver spoon permanently lodged in the side of their mouth, well. Maybe that’s just the remnants of my working class upbringing that comes to the surface now & again…. I like to think I give everyone I meet a fair go but I’m always more often than not prepared for the worst….. :-/
Good question.

Berserker's avatar

I don’t like/don’t care for most people I meet cuz I’m a grouch. Never really been a friendly person. I remain polite and play along, but that’s it. I don’t know what that says about me, I assume it has a lot to do with self projection, low self esteem and methods to deal with inner things that should probbaly be dealt in other ways. And that I’m a grouch.
But fuck it lol.

woodcutter's avatar

now now

Berserker's avatar

Don’t mock my lone wolfery.

woodcutter's avatar

you seen this one yet http://www.amazon.com/Women-Wolves-Clarissa-Pinkola-Estes/dp/0345409876. wild woman maybe this one > http://www.wildwolfwomen.com/

not a hotlink and i can’t make it hot not even if I breathe on it

Berserker's avatar

Broken link.

Londongirl's avatar

I only hang out with people I like, and won’t waste time with those I know I won’t get on.

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