@Jonny, I’m sorry this has become a sore issue. Let me try again. Yes, it is possible not to be paranoid about sex these days if you follow safe sex practices.
I have worked in the San Francisco City (STD) Clinic, and have heard pretty much every sex story imaginable. Sometimes people are initially evasive about why they are there, while others are very blunt. So, when I answered your first question about STDs, I offered to discuss this with you privately, since I thought at the time that you might be alluding to things you didn’t want to ask more openly. Then, when I saw your follow-up question (this one), I became more convinced that you were tip-toeing around something. I guess I was wrong.
The fact that you live/work in different countries has some bearing on this, but again, if you have safe sex, its not that far different from having sex in the US. (That assumes you aren’t having sex with sex workers in say, Thailand or Africa, where HIV rates are incredibly high.)
So, to sum up, I’m sorry I offended you. Feel free to contact me if you want to discuss further.