Good question. I try really hard to not give unsolicited advice or tell others what to do, because I hate it when others do it to me (and in general). So, you know, trying to cut out the hypocrisy. But, I must admit, I do still do it on occasion. It’s usually with smaller things – try this toothpaste, this tequila-type liquor, this brand over that, etc – where it’s more of a “try it, if you don’t like it, you don’t like it”. And I think there’s a difference between saying “try this” and “stick with this”, especially if it’s not a permanent or large choice (like, try being married/separated/a parent/a homeowner/etc). It’s sometimes tough with food, because I am very passionate about food, so, for instance, I have one friend who does not like avocados and I love avocados, so it’s a bit more work than I’d like to not say “You simply must try this guacamole.” But it’s also something I will do if I’m with someone whom I know would be open to the suggestion: For example, I have one friend that loves trying new beers, so if I came across a new and unusual one, I wouldn’t hesitate to tell her that she should try it. But would I tell that to a coworker or classmate whom I didn’t know unless they specifically asked for new beer to try? Probably not.
There are a couple things I get a bit more pushy than others. Normally, it’s because it’s either not known about at all as an option, or it is known but is portrayed in “the media” differently than it really is. It’s a bit of a hard line to walk in not advising someone but also letting them know about it.
But, I do hate unsolicited advise. Partly because I think it comes from a place of assumed superiority, that one would think that of course I give a damn about their opinion on the matter and would consider their advise, and partly because many (if not most) people get really upset if you don’t follow their advise. So you complain about a problem supervisor, and you think you’re just swapping stories over happy hour, and they tell you to deal with it in this way, and then when you don’t do that but the problem also doesn’t go away, they think you’re inactive or personally snubbing them or just bitching and you should shut up or… I’ve lost more friends than I care for because they couldn’t stop telling me what to do with my life, and I didn’t take them up on it.