@GabrielsLamb Okay…I’ll answer that for you:
Do I intentionally lie? Never. That’s a big no-no in my belief system
In the past, I’d try to soothe or apease them. I’ve learned that was me lying to myself. I felt dumb for not being my full me when I didn’t stand up for what I believed in.
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Here’s a good example of my past dumbness with the MIL/FIL:
I was in the last months of pregnancy. We were invited to their home to share in a b-day party for my niece. My SIL and BIL and their kids showed up. I could see that my MIL was being very rude. I couldn’t understand why…we were gathered to celebrate a b-day.
The SIL and her daughter the b-day girl came to the party with a cake they’d baked special for the event. The MIL stopped them from pulling out their cake. She said “I already baked a cake” and began slamming things on the table.
The party continued with a grey cloud hanging over it. The b-day girl was upset, the nephews wanted to eat mama & sister’s cake…the MIL pulls out one tiny, horrible looking cake and serves it up…it was horrendous.
Now if this same event happened in my family, someone would have taken the MIL to the kitchen, and told her to snap out of it…Most likely it would’ve been nipped before anyone else knew that something even occured.
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So, I went home in the car telling my husband that was a weird scene & I felt like I should’ve intervened. I emailed the SIL and apologized for not taking action…we both became more open with one another.
Since that seemingly small incident 6yrs ago, I have never compromised my feelings with the inlaws. If I have something to say, I say it. My MIL now looks forward to my honesty. The FIL, not so much…but he lives in a very small world that revolves around himself. There aren’t many people allowed inside…mostly because he thinks everyone is stupid, ignorant, fools, ding-bats, etc.