I was the wife of a headmaster of a fancy independent Quaker day school in Phila. for 14 years. It is a similar position but on a smaller scale and with few of the perks.
I had to be very careful about making close friends within the community of faculty and parents; and I had to watch demeanor, comportment and behavior at every pubic event, be it an honors assembly, weekly meeting for worship or a ninth grade squad D girls’ lacrosse game.
We did hang out with the administrative staff, who, luckily, were a wonderful bunch. My ex-husband was an
A headmaster, and, as such, hired A staff.
Our kids were students there and I had a fairly neutral job as Head of College Placement, but many people behaved as though I had special powers to grant special favors.
On week-ends, if we decided to go out for a snack and a movie, we used to drive miles out of our way in order not to bump into anyone we knew.
Three of the five kids got into minor difficulties with pot-related incidents (although my youngest step-son was caught selling what turned out to be oregano) and everyone bent over backwards to be fair to everyone. Lots of dancing on hot coals.
It was a wonderful, enriching experience for us all but we left two years after the youngest had graduated with a feeling of profound relief.