@Seaofclouds You know, this is kind of hard to talk about because we haven’t defined our terms: in particular, what change means. I think we might agree that major life events can change us, although whether they change our central personality cores (whatever that means), I don’t know.
Do you have an example of the kind of change you mean? For me, I feel like I have changed in one way that is pretty significant, while in another way I thought I had come a long way, and I haven’t.
I recently, as I’m sure you know by now, had my first (and hopefully only) episode of bipolar disorder. As a result, I feel like I have become much more empathetic. It’s hard to know if that’s a result of the bipolar or if it would have happened anyway. Is it a change in my core personality? I doubt it. I think the change is in the strength and facility of my empathy.
On the other hand, loneliness of the existential sort has recently been a pretty big concern of mine. Looking through letters from when I was 17 (I’m 55 now), I discovered I was writing about this concern in pretty much the same way as I think about it now. I was a little less sophisticated in my understanding, and in the letter, I was trying to be flippant because I was hurting and didn’t want to show it, but at it’s core, I could tell, it was the same as I am now. This is something that has been driving me all my life. I have always been lonely, despite many long term relationships (relationships of two years or more, including a 21 year marriage) since then. The inner me, it seems, is a tough nut to crack. I have never felt totally open and accepted—there are historical reasons for this.
Anyway, if you care to share, I’d like to hear an example of what you are talking about.