As far as physical changes that have made me lose desire, it has never happened to me. Changes in personality or behavior have had that effect, though.
Yes and no. My fiancee was close to 300lbs when we met and I still fell in love whereas I was under 100lbs for the first two years we were together. This year I put on what for me is a lot of weight and we are still frisky and adoring, at least enough to still be getting married. He’s 100lbs less and I’m about 20lbs more.
I seriously used to think I wouldn’t be able to be attracted to anyone who wasn’t fit. I’ve surprised myself and happily so to feel I’ve matured enough after so many years to not fear that ever being an issue we’ll have to be hobbled by.
I think it’s happening now with weight, actually. I just get periods where his weight doesn’t bother me AT ALL and periods where it bothers me extremely. Also, his fashion sense has deteriorated. I find it a little hard to be sexually attracted to him.. not ALL the time. There are just moments where I find it hard and it bothers me more than usual
@Neizvestnaya Good for you. I, too, am a lot smaller than my BF. He’s under 300 lbs but he’s still a big guy if you know what I mean and I know he’s got to be overweight.
@RealEyesRealizeRealLies That’s good, actually .Lol. That you lost interest in them because of something significant, like their personality, and not their weight.
@Adirondackwannabe I wouldn’t say he let himself go. He’s physically fit. And obviously maintains an interest in sex. Though my interest sometimes fluctuates.
@thesparrow: Weight, hygiene and grooming are kind of separate things going on. I’m the sort of partner who expects my SO to maintain themselves, I’ll even help because for me, lax hygiene and sloppy grooming are definite turn offs. Thing is, most couples know these things about each far in advance of making serious commitments so there shouldn’t be any arguments later.
Nope. When I was pregnant with our first daughter, I gained 30 pounds and so did my husband, lol. We’re both still holding on to that extra 30 pounds, but he’s still incredibly sexy to me. Actually, I like him both ways. Pre-baby, he was 100% ripped muscle and had a better body than Adonis. Post-baby he’s still got ripped arms and pecs… he’s just got a “happy daddy belly”, and it’s like snuggling with my very own teddy-bear, lol. Meh, 30 pounds or not, he’s still my sexy man.
@thesparrow Relationships take work. I use the comments on here to remind me to make the extra effort to take care of her. If I keep working she’s much happier..
Most of the time though I will still have sex with him just because I enjoy sex, even with a slightly weighty person. It’s still sex, either way. I still have all of the same responses I would if he was thinner, to be frank. And those responses are good.
My gf got fake boobs, because she was unhappy with time’s treatment of them. (She would have gotten a lift only if it would have been worth anything.) She’s happy, and I’m glad she’s happy, but it’s hard for me to get excited about fake boobs.
I’m going to say, I know the power of love to overlook a little bit of weight but… I also never forget how critical people are, me included. I’ve been with my fiancee when he used to snark about women’s weight and looks. I don’t fool myself that he likes my looks right now as much as he did 20lbs ago.
@Neizvestnaya I know what you mean. My husband tells me he likes how I look because “it’s how I’m supposed to look after giving him two beautiful babies”, but I’m sure he’d think I was prettier if I got back down to my pre-baby weight.
If my wife put on a lot of weight by being lazy and eating terribly, I would see that as not caring about herself or if I’m attracted to her or not. So I would see that as a pretty big turnoff, yes.
If she gained weight for circumstances outside of her reasonable control, I would not look down on her at all.
It’s never happened to me that a partner put on a noticeable amount of weight. But I’ve grown by some fifty pounds over the last twenty years. A couple of pounds a year really creeps up on you. Fortunately, I’ve been reassured that it doesn’t change my wife’s affection for me.
@XD Awww, that’s sweet. I don’t think I’d be too happy if my man got a fake penis extension (assuming, theoretically, there is such a thing). So I get the fake boobs thing.