Shakespeare is one cool dude. But he’s awful hard to understand. We wuz down the pub the other day quaffin’ a few brewskis (beers, dude) and this other dude walks in and starts layin into Ol’ Will with a will. That’s right. It was Shaky’s brother, wanting to argue about their inheritance.
Thing’s weren’t going well for the brother dude, but then he told Will that he was a plagiarizer and next thing I know it’s all broken bottles and wasted scotch and the brothers both have these gashes on their faces (cool scars, dude, cool scars) and then this chick comes running in. Julie, I think she said her name was.
When Will sees her, his face go chalky like the cliffs at Dover and then he says something that makes no sense to me whatsover. “Julie,” he says, “I thought you were dead!”
She says, “I’m not dead…. yet. But if we don’t get the fuck out of here, not only will I be, but you will be, too.”
Will’s brother is watching all this with a strange smirk on his face, like he’s rootin’ for the home team to lose. But Will and Julia light out of that pub like a souped up 2011 Chevy Camaro outrunning a Decepticon.
What can I say? My mouth was agape. All I can say is that that dude is cooler liquid nitro!