What does “not tolerating” accomplish other than making one more comfortable in their own bubble of belief? Obviously, this is a natural reaction, and I don’t mean to judge it. I’ve just always held on to the question of whether it is better to live one’s ethics and values among the likeminded or among those whom one might attempt to change. I don’t really have an answer for that, either.
In my experience being in a relationship with someone who naturally/nurturally espoused conservative views, I endured a lot of discussion and listening to get to a point where I understood what her views were based on, and it turned out that at the core they primarily came from a very personal and very human sense of fairness. They were dressed up in rhetoric and dogma that I find distasteful, but the essence was quite understandable. I’ve also had some gratification in seeing my “progressive” thought rub off on her over the years, proof of which comes out most distinctly when she talks about the “icky people” she once regarded as more her tribe.
Still, there is a perceived price to be paid for living in such a compromising relationship and that is the actualization or fullness of expression of one’s own values and ethics—the opportunity to relish harmony in one’s own life or to manifest a vision. If I were to turn away from a relationship, I would do it for that reason—for reasons supporting one’s fullness of self-expression rather than as an escape from or rejection of someone for “intolerable” beliefs or values.