There are a number of examples I could mention where people have told me they are grateful that I don’t judge them. They include having had an abortion, being mentally ill, cheating, being gay, and more. At the same time, people tell me they feel judged in a way that implies I am doing wrong by judging in other situations. One that comes to mind is food. People are afraid of the look on my face, which apparently clearly says when I don’t like something.
I also judge people’s opinions. I judge Republicans badly. I don’t have any Republican friends. I do not approve of joining the armed services. I don’t approve of conservatives. I don’t trust religious people or indeed, almost anyone who doesn’t understand the scientific method and thinks their opinion has just as much validity as opinions for which there is scientific evidence—people who believe in astrology, for example (which is different from those who think it is a hoot or a way of getting to know people).
I get a lot of negative feedback about these judgments that makes me feel that I either shouldn’t have them, or if I do have them, shouldn’t express them. I think this is because people often feel bad when I express these judgments. They get angry with me. They feel put down—unfairly, I guess. As if it isn’t a justifiable ground for judging others. That’s just speculation.
Those are the kind of judgments it seems like it is bad to make. I feel like I should say that even though I think you’re wrong, I still respect you. And I do respect them on some level. I believe they have personal experiences that led them to these opinions, and even though they made the wrong analysis, I can understand how they got there.
Perhaps they feel I am judging their personalities, or their whole personhood. Or writing them off. Honestly, I don’t exactly know. Just speculating. Perhaps it’s just how I come off—arrogant or unfeeling or something. What is it about certain judgments that gets people’s back up?