This is a deeply individual/case by case thing. I do know of some people who found their purpose in life pretty young. Case in point: Katie Davis. (Side note: I highly recommend her blog and her book.)
As for me..I certainly didn’t have my ‘identity’ figured out in college.
I looked around me and thought everyone else knew what they were doing and I didn’t – and was pretty much unsure about this whole “moving on to the next stage” of adult life.
I could tell you what I liked to wear (Doc Martens), what music I loved (alternative), and what bands mattered to me…but I didn’t have much else figured out.
I graduated kind of young (stretched it out until 20 by taking some extra credits I didn’t need) so I knew I wasn’t done figuring out what my purpose in life was.. So I went off to live abroad for my first job out of college. I looked into Peace Corps, the JET program and finally took a corporate job in a really rural part of Japan. I stayed there until I figured out who I was (all by myself), what mattered to me and what I wanted next.
I truly had a vision of the “next stage” and made it happen.
Here’s the crazy thing though..as life went on..my identity evolved. I became less me and more identified as: “J’s wife” or “L’s mom” or “the Girl Scout leader of troop X” or “that lady who collects donations to send to Africa”.
So..give yourself permission to not have any of it figured out.
You don’t need to know what your purpose in life is..it’ll unfold for you. Really.
People end up working at a job, meeting a person, moving for work or that person they love..and life…life just happens.
You know the saying: “We make plans and God laughs”...well, I don’t think you necessarily have to believe in God to get the gist of it…but, life is something that happens while we’re busy making plans.
Go out and try everything once. Figure out what you’re passionate about..and it’ll all fall into place.