He’s mean to your kids and you tolerate that? What about what that’s doing to your kids? What about the image you are showing your kids, a mom who does not defend them and a mom who tolerates emotional abuse from a boyfriend/husband?
I would consider therapy even if you have to go alone, if I were you.
If a doctor says you need anti-depressants, than why not take the doctor’s advice? If a doctor said your leg was broken and you need a cast, you would most likely not challenge that decision, so why would a doctor diagnosing depression be any different?
In my experience with relationship issues, it seems like when someone blows up so intensely, as it sounds like your boyfriend is doing with you, he either has something to hide or he is trying to control you for some reason (or both).
I would forget the car, go back to your family even if that means being humble. It does not have to be a permanent move. Maybe if you guys are apart for a while, you will both have time to think about things. If you have certain things you would like from him or from the relationship, such as couples counseling, stick up for yourself and for your children and see if he cooperates. It would be great for your children to be around some supportive adults, like their grandparents. It sounds like where you are now you are isolated, which is not good for you or for your children.
If that’s one of your children on your avatar photo, she is a gorgeous girl and she deserves to see a strong mom who takes care of herself and her children.
Please consider posting an update to let Fluther know how things are going for you. I wish you all the best. My heart goes out to you with your situation.
JCA
The Update Lady