I have to admit I was confused when I read this question because I said to myself “isn’t this the girl that asked the question only about 3 days ago about leaving her boyfriend?” I read that other question, and sure enough it was. You wrote about him being mean to your kids, and you stated that you were thinking about leaving him. I asked you some questions in my answer on that thread, which you did not answer, which is fine, it’s your choice, but still, with those questions unanswered, I don’t understand why you are now wanting to get married to this man. I asked why you tolerate him being mean to your kids, and what that might do to your kids’ emotionally. You did say that you are clinically depressed and that he does not want you to take medication. I had suggested you go back to your parents’ house, which you said is 3½ hours away, and take some time to sort through your feelings. I also suggested you go to therapy, and if he would not accompany you to therapy, maybe you should go by yourself, to help you think about things.
You have beautiful children and they deserve a mommy that will defend them and provide a home where they are not treated badly by mommy’s boyfriend. As a mom, your children have to come first. If you don’t defend them, if you are not their first line of defense against the world, who is? Who will stick up for them?
With these questions lingering (lingering for you, not for me), I don’t understand why you still want to get married to this person.
Think long and hard about considering this person as a husband. He seems like a bad deal even for a long term relationship.