Has anyone read the 5 Love Languages?
The book basically talks about 5 ways that we show love for each other and that we tend to give love in a way that we want love given to us—the 5 areas are Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch.
The book talks about how we don’t feel loved or special if we don’t receive love in our ‘love language’—the challenge happens when two people have completely different love languages and aren’t giving/receiving what they need to feel special.
My love language is Quality Time. If I get flowers… it’s nice but… not amazing. @Charles list suggests that he is giving Acts of Services as his way of showing love. If his wife has Acts of Services as part of her love languages or at least recognizes it as a gift, she’d feel special and be thrilled.
I know we’re not as simplistic as only 5 areas of love-showing, but the book helped me see how people show love and feel special differently. My daughter couldn’t care less about getting gifts—it’s so blah for her, but my son, he really feels valued through gift receiving, so when the grandparents send boxes and boxes for my daughter… she appreciates it but she enjoys quality time and words of affirmation far, far more than gifts and my son gets really, really deeply hurt that he didn’t get the same boxes. It helped me understand my kids more and not to discredit the ways they felt special.
So… when you want to make your SO or loved one feel special… maybe look at their “love language” and give them what makes them feel special. Best way to find out—look at what they give… usually what they give is what they want to receive.