Be there friend, but not too friendly.
My daughter was too friendly with her children. We have discussed this before and she agrees. By being “too friendly”, I mean be young and grow up with your children. You can be just one of their best friends, but make sure they understand that you are their mother, first. This is where my daughter more or less failed and she agrees.
She was one of the kids and her children loved her for it. The problem presented itself, when she became Mother the Punisher and not Mother One Of Us. When my daughter dished out punishment for a bad deed, her children did believe her, that she really meant what she said about standing in the corner or doing writeoffs.
In other words, her children did not respect her as their mother, but only as their friend. My daughter crossed the line, wanting to gain their friendship, but she lost the leadership with her children as their mother.
My daughter agrees with everything I have said here. It took a while for everything to change in her family. Her children had hard feelings for my daughter for about two years. They soon got over it and her family is on the correct course now.
Be your children’s friend, but be their mother first.