@Coloma and @lonelydragon have some very good points.
I’ve seen it most in close personal relationships but it can also be between casual acquaintances or even with co-workers.
My experience it is all about control and manipulation. I’ve done it myself (I grew up with it, it’s what I know) when I am feeling not in control, being bullied or that I am being manipulated.
One odd example, asking my mother a question, like, “I want to borrow the car to go>>>” and her response would be “strawberries” or some dumb thing. She doesn’t want me to go, so I get weird answers in hopes I will just stop asking and go away.
Another, wanting something from/with another, and when I brought it up, being told that we were going to, but since I did such N such, we aren’t going to do it. Like a parent telling a child after the fact that they can’t have what they want because two hours/two days ago they did something wrong. Course, you never know what or when, just that it was offensive or wrong. (Sound crazy? Me too.)
And some times I can do it or experience it and not realize it until afterward. I can’t give a perfect example, but it happens when you manipulate an outcome to your advantage vs. being upfront with the other person.
I can tell you I hate when it is done to me and I feel bad when I do it to others. (Just one of many reasons I try my hardest to: not have close or best friends, or date and get married.