Depends… How does she put herself down? Is she being negative or just being honest? People think I am being negative and am putting myself down when I am just being honest. If someone says to me “Let’s go dancing!” and I tell them I am boring and only dance slow, they may take that as being negative when it’s just the truth. I don’t dance fast so if they want to go out and tear up the dance floor, I would be boring. Now if they reply by saying that’s exactly what they had in mind, then I would say I was their girl!
I guess for me it’s all a matter of perspective. I’ll say I can’t do something or I suck at something and people automatically say I have low self-esteem. Why does my self-esteem or self-value have to revolve on other people’s ideas and feelings? There are many things I am good at and I enjoy doing but just because I don’t toot my horn, why does it automatically mean I have no confidence?
As far as staying positive in the job market you could tell her to take the time while looking to tweek her resume or improve it, maybe get an edge up on the competition by taking a class that will benifit her carreer. Be honest with her. Sometimes when people are negative they just want someone who will listen and once they have talked trough it, it’s a little easier to focus on the positive. Once the negative is acknowledged, it’s not so overpowering and you can think more about the positive. At least it is for me. When I’m having a difficult time, I need to look at all the negative, then it doesn’t seem to have so much power over my thoughts.
Being negative takes a lot of my energy so I have to acknowledge it in order to dispose of it, then I say to myself what am I going to do about it, then I can focus that energy more on the positive. That’s just me. (Not sure if that helps or makes and sense.)