What @thorninmud said. But then, they have been my worst enemy. When I am attached to them and involved with them and they matter, they come close to killing me.
However, when I learned to do what @thorninmud suggests, I stopped feeling like I had to take them so seriously. I came to understand how they have a reality I don’t have to pay attention to. I can let them go.
They want me to take them so seriously because it feels very intense, especially when I am thinking about killing myself. And even when it isn’t that bad, they can be very intense and I do love that feeling, even if it is very bad. Even when I am feeling like the most worthless creature on the planet. Things seem to matter.
It’s crazy, but I think there’s something in me that craves this intensity—this sense that things matter so much and I am fighting for my life. The thing is, that can be dangerous. I need to be able to let up sometimes. I need to take the time to appreciate what I have instead of always wanting more, or judging myself for not being where I should be.
If I can keep these things in balance, my thoughts are my friends and I enjoy them. It is a constant struggle, though.