Marina; It is tough, I know. My ma is 93 and has senile dementia (Pretty healthy but NO memory). Every time I see her caller ID on the phone, my heart jerks.
listen to books on tape, garden, walk, bird,(hang birdfeeders), think about armadillos in Orlando, spend time only with people I am really close to. I find that writing about stressful things relieves some stress for me. Massage, hot shower, good hair cut.
Does your mom have a Living will, Health care proxy, etc? While still compos mentis, my mother got all her paper work in order, including picking out a coffin, planning and pre-paying for her funeral and signing a DNR document after having discussed it with my sis and me.
A silly distraction is the daily 154-piece online jigsaw puzzle; www.jigzone.com. Agree with wildflower about the “staring into space time”, altho I do it with tea and Milo.