Hmm, is @Blackberry perhaps a lurker of /r/twoxchromosomes? ;)

Nothing particularly out there. The weirdest thing I can think of is when he suddenly challenged me to a badminton tournament after no contact for almost a year.

She called me her kitty apres “afternoon delight”. Ha

“I am so happy and have my kitty beside me whom I love”. (it came out all wrong. That wasn’t what she intended to say).

She told me she wanted a divorce…...on my birthday.

@Mariah You caught me. :/

She was using duct tape on something or other, and I had just walked out of the shower…next thing I know I have a strip of tape on my testicles. “I have no idea why I just did that…”.

Painful and very surprising.

She filed for divorce right after I was operated on for incurable cancer.
She married a guy from what use to be “our church,” and used that as the excuse to file for divorce from me.
She kept every picture of me and the kids I ever had, including the ones of me from when I was little and all of the ones I had from Vietnam, and I had no pictures of the kids until my step-mother sent me the ones I had sent her.
She locked me out of the house I had been paying on for over 20 years, then sold it to her brother so he could fix it up and sell it, giving me a grand total of $1,000 when it was sold.

Shall I go on? : (

I never had an ex do anything totally crazy after we were broken up. I’d say the craziest they seem to all do is call and try to “talk” and leave messages or emails saying “if you ever want to talk…..” Uh, no.

My ex once choked me and then claimed that I should have “known” he was not going to seriously strangle me! Call ME “crazy” but if one puts their hands around someones throat and squeezes til they feel faint, is that not the definition of “strangling”? :-/
He actually said ” I didn’t try to strangle you I JUST CHOKED you! Yes, that was the last straw and I kicked him out that night.

He was all about control and what set him off was me coming home late from work and being upset that he had not fed the pets and left them out in the dark. I simply said ” Can I count on you to take care of things when I am late” and he flipped out and attacked me.
That was it, never again!

I had an ex falsely accuse me of “hitting her breast.”
She made this accusation a week after I moved out due to her cheating on me with a guy more than once, to get cocaine and lots of really crazy behavior on her part.

I had given up my place in another state to be with her.

When it came time for court she never pursued it. Case closed.
Three days later she got in touch with me again, and wanted to talk.
I had no intention of returning to the madness, but I have some heart, and was willing to make a decent exit.

The first thing she told me, is that she “made the false accusation to keep me from returning to the state I was living in before we got together, because she loved me and didn’t want to loose me.”

This was the “icing on the cake” to get the heck away from her

Where to start: he had my car repossessed, refused to make mortgage payments he was legally bound to make costing me my house, filed a false report with child protective services, asked the DMV to recall my husband’s drivers license, and evicted my pregnant sister, her husband and three children from their house – among many other things. Nowadays he has limited his wackiness to these emails where he rails on and on for paragraphs about what a horrible person and mother I am, threatens to take me to court, then tells me we really need to be mature and deal with our issues like grown-ups. WTF?

@SuperMouse Yes, I could share more, but I am SO OVER all of that after 9 years, but…my divorce was fraught with all kinds of crap like that too, including financial abuse, and refusing to sign the divorce papers for FIVE years! Yep, control freak crazies hate to give up their “stranglehold” on their victims. Bah!

@Coloma WTF indeed! Do these guys seriously think they are going to change our minds with this psychopathic behaviors? It boggles my mind.

@SuperMouse WTF indeed, back at’cha! lol
Well, as always, the sliver lining was that I have become an expert on narcissists and sociopaths..OMG, when one wakes up there is NO going back to sleep, not ever! haha

My second ex-wife was only my second wife at the time. She figured out how things were going to be split between us. She figured that she would get the new car (in my name, I was making the payments),she asserted that I was going to pay for her gas and insurance, I was going to pay the mortgage on the house and she was going to live there, and I was going to pay her alimony. I was deployed to Iraq at the time. I was seriously like WTF!

I totaled up the cost both monthly payments and total debt owed on all she was asking for and compared it to what I was getting (nothing, except the $500/month that remained of my pay. I sent her back the deal that she could have whatever she wanted she just had to make the payments on it. Her counter offer was that I would get everything…hehe.

Important Note: She sent my two children to live with my parents (so technically in my custody).

You guys are all making me feel pretty good about my ex’s… lol.

One girl went nuts and thought I was stalking her (which was not the case). But I mean the craziest event from that was I invited her to a party we were hosting (some 6 months after our break up) on facebook, she turned it down, and then I accidentally invited her again… and she complained about me being a stalker to a mutual friend (who rightly and thankfully put her in her place for being such a biznatch).

I had one ex who some time after we were broken up made out with my best friend, but that’s not that crazy.

One ex hit me in the arm in the heat of an argument (come to find out some time later this was after she had made out with another guy in a drunken stupor that night).... that was the craziest thing she ever did, but overall she was rather sane.

Pretty light stuff compared to some of the stuff on here.

@CaptainHarley I’ll tell you what, I’ll come out there… and we will vandalize the bejesus out of her house and car. :)

@tedd

Heh! No, I bear her no ill-will. She’s a very fearful, materailistic, money-oriented woman, which goes a long way toward explaining why she does the things she does. Thanks anyway! : ))

As a divorced male, I think the worst thing I did was to let our friends (that she lied to about why we were getting divorced) know that it was because she had an affair with our next door neighbor.

The WTF things my ex does usually revolve around texting that she wants to get back together, and not understanding why I don’t.

I could tell you some stories about my girl friend’s ex, but the last one takes the cake. He filed for a temporary restraining order by totally making up stories on a Friday, came to her house the following Wednesday to talk about what was going on and seeming to come to some sort of peaceful understanding, with her thinking the order was going to be dropped. On Saturday, she let him take the kids to his mother’s for a few hours. When she went to pick the kids up (because he wouldn’t drop them off), he had her arrested for violating the order of protection. Luckily, she had the texts saying to come get the kids (who weren’t there when she went to pick them up), and the cop (who had no choice but to arrest her) believed she had been setup and told the district attorney, who choose not to file charges.

So as an aside question, how did all of you ladies with crazy, crazy ex husbands’ finally establish a buffer or boundaries?

An ex (before he was an ex) gave me an earring and a lipstick he said I must have left at his place.

I told him neither item was mine, and What the F…

Then, literally 10 seconds after giving me the items, he acted like he didn’t give me someone else’s earrings and lipsticks and tried to convince me I was having delusions of him giving me things. I think the words “I’ve never seen that earring before, and I don’t know how it got in your hand” actually came out of his mouth.

This is the same guy who, after I got a concussion (stupid story and totally my fault) on the way to his high school reunion, got annoyed at me for complaining about being dizzy, staying sober, and not impressing his old friends.

Why I stayed with him long enough for both those incidents to occur is beyond me.

My ex-husband once suggested that perhaps we could double date. That was pretty surreal.

Well bottom line, ANYONE that steals your sunshine needs to be impaled on their own umbrella. lol

Well aren’t you just a precious lil ray of sunshine! : D

The guy I dated right before I met my husband once said something so incredibly “wtf“ish that I don’t even feel comfortable repeating it here. It creeped me out. Needless to say, I ditched him just days later.

@WillWorkForChocolate Poop on me?

Not had any looney tune exes, so no stories to tell. As far as I can remember they all left on good terms, no sense in going all toxic on someone just because you’re not compatible anymore, for whatever reason.

My ex put a restraining order on me during the christmas holiday then called me to tell me that he got it and I better not come home or I would be arrested. We were living in Massachusettes at the time. I went to the precinct for a copy of the order and in the order he claimed that I was a 30 year old, 6ft. MAN who lived in New York City (he gave them my grandmothers address) and that I had physically threatened his life. My daughter and I had to stay in a hotel for 2 weeks until the court date. 10 days later when I went to court to dispute the RO he claimed that I beat him with his own leg (WTF!!??!!) (he was an amputee and used a prosethetic leg). I found out later that he wanted to get me out of the house so I wouldn’t find out that he hadn’t been paying the mortgage and the house was 6 months in foreclosure. He filed bankruptcy also. It was a duplex and so we rented one side of the house to tenants and their rent was basically paying most of the mortgage, so he was just pocketing the money. The sad part is that I never really loved this guy but I got involved with him because I felt sorry for him having one leg and all. What a dummy I was.

He didn’t make me a sandwich.

He recorded a song talking crap about me, he put my full name in it and released it to the internet, and he broke into my apartment once.

@partyrock Well, that’s a interesting thing. lol
How many peoples ex’s record songs about them? You’re canonized forever. I swear, what people will do. haha

My first wife, liked to shop for pretty clothes. I was back in college and we were on a tight budget, and each of us had a personal allowance. Her allowance was several times mine since I didn’t need much for a day at school. She was also an accountant/bookkeeper.

But somehow she seemed oblivious to sales, and seemed to be attracted to the most expensive thing she saw. She came home one evening with some boxes from Macy’s including a dress that cost several months of her personal allowance. I muttered something like “how did you pay for that?” She said proudly, “I didn’t have to pay for it, I charged it!”
That was par for the course in that relationship and I moved out a few months later, and divorced her less than a year after that.

An ex-girlfriend that was a virgin and stayed one throughout our entire relationship called me up a month or two after we broke up warning me that she might be pregnant.

Her: “I just wanted to warn you that I think I’m pregnant.”

Me: “But we never had sex…”

Her: “I know, but I didn’t know if you got excited when we made out and maybe ejaculated..? We did sleep in the nude together.”

Me: “Are you joking? It doesn’t work that way…”

Her: “Well I haven’t had my period in 2 months!!!”

I think I ended up hanging up on her.

ROFL!

My ex husband called me several years ago and wanted me to tell his new wife that she didn’t need to be jealous of me. He had a bunch of pictures of me on the walls and talked about how great I was, which he never did while we were together.
He did the same thing to me with his first wife, but instead of falling for it, I made plans and left his ass. Apparently, third time was a charm because she’s still with him, though lord knows he has to be constantly playing on her insecurities.

@partyrock @Coloma I’ve written a few songs for x’s. Never included a name though.

@tedd – He put my full name on the song, called me bitch, said stuff about our relationship, and put it out there on the internet. Yeah it really sucked. It’s still out there somewhere. I’m over it though.

When we first got together he made a really sweet song, then when we broke up he recorded the song out of hatred. Good time. Glad I’m done with that.

@Coloma – Shit happens. But I learned from it.

@partyrock Honestly in my experience the break up songs are easier to write, cuz you’re so upset. I had a couple of angrier ones, but again never used a name.

My ex—about halfway through our 12 year marriage, told me out of the blue that I looked totally awful on my wedding day, and that when the doors opened to reveal me standing there, he thought “WTGDF, what the hell did she do.” I had over 300 wedding pictures and put them in a box and have never looked at them again.

The thought of that made me tear up until recently. I had totally forgotten that there was another guy at the altar looking at me as well—my 6 year old son acting as ringbearer. He told me last summer that he remembers the doors opening up and, wow, saw the most beautiful person in the world that day.

The most recent WTF from my ex is, “You look so sexy…” with a pervert-grin… last weekend. If I had a bat…..

@linguaphile What a jerk! I bet you looked beautiful and he’s just an ass who know saying that would be hurtful.

@linguaphile Clearly he is scum.

Another WTF?!? moment: I once dated this guy and one day at my house he saw a picture of a cousin of mine and her husband. He said “Oh who’s this?”
I said “Oh that’s my cousin and her Fiancee, we look alike huh?”
He said “Wow you really think highly of yourself”.
I was speechless.

None that I remember. But my daughter was invited by an ex-boyfriend to spend the weekend with him and his family when they came to town to visit. They had broken up for at least a year. When she told me I know I thought, WTF. They only talk business with each other and they broke up because he was having an affair with someone else. I guess he thought he couldn’t present his married girlfriend to mom and dad.
Of course she said NO!

He threw an orange at me from another room , hitting me in the chest, when I told him to ask a friend of his to answer a religion question I could not answer.
He agreed to go to church with me once and , the second the sermon began, he whipped out a paperback book and began reading it.
I got a confirmation card in the mail saying he wanted to be in the next room at a hotel from one of his students and they acknowledged his request.
He took me out to eat and spent half an hour on the phone in another part of the restaurant. I sat alone at our table.
He bought an old car and an old boat . The car had a big hole under the floor mat and you could see the street going by. The boat’s flooring undulated in water.
He bought a new truck and , on a snowy icy street, told me to “put on the brakes” so I could see that it was not affected by ice. The truck skidded and slammed into the curb which dented the hubcap and he began screaming at me.
I could go on for another hour . He’s remains a major idiot.