It’s like living anywhere else, just better. Save up money for the move, find a job there before you pick up and go, and that should do it.

No help with particulars here, but cost-of-living in San Francisco proper is absurd. At least when compared to where I am now.
I spent the first 12 years of my life in Redwood City. It was a decent place, back then; I hear it’s gone down the tubes a bit in recent years. Might ask @DominicX; he’s from around there.

I live in the East Bay, so I guess I am used to high housing prices. I suggest you keep an eye on housing prices in Noe Valley and the Excelsior district to see what you might afford. And also check the job market to see about getting work in whatever line you’re in.

And then I’d suggest saving so you have enough to get an apartment and look for a job for 6 months. No need to wait ten years, do it as soon as you can.

Also, consider towns outside San Francisco: San Rafael, Mill Valley, Lafayette, Albany. All of those towns may look more expensive but deals can be found in all of them, and they are good for young families.

Ten years is far down the road. Cost of living could change there and where you live now. It’s probably a good bet San Fran housing will stay expensive, question is what about where you live now. Sometimes being in an expensive market is easier than trying to move from an inexpensive one to an expensive one. Moving sooner might make more sense, but I would assum you have your reasons.

You’ll want to check schools for your son. That might narrow things down.

I agree with others save save save. If you can get moved with a company under relocation that is the best. They take care of all moving expenses.

I grew up in New England, which has a cost of living comparable to Seattle or San Diego; compared to what most people are used to, those areas are ridiculously expensive. Who in their right mind pays $800–900 for a two-bedroom apartment? People who don’t want to spend the $1200–2000 for a smaller apartment in the city proper!

My cross-country move (NH to Seattle) was pretty easy, and didn’t take ten years to plan. My wife and I decided to move, saved up about $3000, and moved in with a friend of ours who had been here for 15 years. No jobs lined up, no car, no furniture, pretty much the clothes on our back, a couple of carry-on bags worth of stuff, and about half a closet’s worth of stuff in my parent’s house back in NH that slowly got shipped to us over the next few months.

It was a little bit of a struggle for the first year, but we managed. We found a car, moved into a place of our own, and managed to situate ourselves fairly nicely despite our modest incomes (especially compared to the costs of living) and shaky work situations at that time, but we are pretty solidly entrenched now, and as stable as we were in NH.

Then again, my wife and I are perfectly content to rent. If you want to buy a house of your own, that is a whle different ballgame, and a much harder one. Better hope those lottery tickets pay off ;)

Step 1. Wait about nine years.
Step 2. There is no step 2.
Step 3. Find a job
Step 4. Determine where you can live based on budget, commute, etc.
Step 5. Move there.

Whoo hoo for a UC educated answer! :D