I live in the present and not too far away future. The future, not because I plan much of anything out, but because I do need to consider my actions and my life and how shit I do will affect the near future. This I calculate with the little wisdom that I may have to see ahead, based on whatever experience I think I can rely on. It’s tough though, and often I find that I don’t really care much bout the future anyways, so I mostly live in the present, because it’s happening right now. Whatever will be will be, and all that. I’ll deal with it then. But if I can lay some mines, I will, if I’m sure of it, or at least think it’s partially right. Anyways fuck it, I’m usually wrong. XD
The present is what’s important for me, whether I’m having fun, doing something constructive, or doing something stupid. I do try to think about everything, but maybe I’ll die tomorrow, so all I thunk about will have been wasted time except for when I was thinking about it, which won’t matter when I’m dead. I like living for the moment, because it’s happening, and isn’t a memory or a delusion. Makes me feel alive, whether it’s good or bad. Ya can’t chase happiness, you have to recognize it when it’s happening, as well as all the other shit that happens. Wasn’t like this for me all the time though. I used to be obsessed about the future, probably up to a point that was mentally unhealthy. Not saying my way now is better than then…but it feels like it, anyways.
That said I think about the past quite a lot, again, good or bad, but very rarely do I apply it to the now or the then as a means to transform the now or then. Or at least I don’t think so, most of the time anyway.
How much cash did I have then? 2000? Okay, but all I got now is three twenties…gotta work with that shit. Maybe I’ll make more, maybe I’ll be left with pocket change…but gotta go with what’s goin on now. I do look ahead though, as much as I think is constructive and good for me.