My wife married me before we discovered I was mentally unstable. I would not have blamed her one bit for leaving me when I was sick. I think she should have left me, actually. But she didn’t and I am grateful for that. I might not have survived, otherwise. Hard to say.
As a person with a brain disorder, I am very sympathetic to others in the same situation. I would hope that people who love us would keep on loving us and not abandon us because we aren’t stable. With modern treatments, there is every hope that we can recover and become stable. It’s really no different than any physical illness, especially chronic ones.
But people abandon boyfriends and girlfriends with cancer or diabetes, so it’s not as if a brain disorder is much different. Some people can handle being involved with someone with mental illness and others can’t, just as some people can handle being involved with someone with cancer and others can’t.
Personally, I like crazy people. They can understand me. They can empathize with me. They know what is going on in ways that ordinary people are clueless.
I also very much like stability. I am not into anger or yelling and screaming. I prefer problem solving. However, I do enjoy emotional intensity. I am a very intense person, and not a lot of people can handle that. Sometimes, with other crazy people, it can work. And sometimes it would just get way too intense. So really, I don’t think any useful generalizations can be made here. You can get hurt with crazy people and hurt with mundanes. I seriously don’t think it’s much different in terms of the amount of hurt, although it is different about where the hurt comes from.
On the other hand, the highs can be much more intense with a crazy person. The depth of the relationship can go much further. It can be more intense. Deeper. But you never know what you’re going to get until you’re far enough into it that you can’t back out.