If it was a sudden thing, to let people I care about know I am gone.
Plant a tree for me so my children have something to sit under and think about me when they need to. My parents don’t have any markers and I have missed having ‘a place’ for them. When I was younger I didn’t think it mattered but there have been a few times when I have wanted to go to them. Weird… maybe. On my recent trip to the UK I discovered my parents (my mother died years before my father) had been scattered next to each other in the Garden of Remembrance. I was doing okay until I heard that. I was so glad they are together. There was no marker but I sat where they were finally scattered for a long time.
That’s all I want. Other than that, it will be up to those who are left behind what they want to do.
Coincidentally, I visited a graveyard yesterday and one of the graves showed a woman’s name (she died in Australia) and then years before it showed a man’s name (he died and was buried in the US years before). It also said something about the couple emigrating here together. It led to a conversation between my husband and I about the background to the story. We have no idea really so we could only speculate and it occurred to us (amongst other things) they could have been divorced. Which led to a discussion about situations where couples divorce but the children have both their parents names on a headstone. Might not be what the parents want but it is what the children need. I hope my children don’t have a marker for me and include my ex!