Probably not, honestly. For a good portion of their childhood, I was dealing so much with my own issues (fibromyalgia, depression, massive anxiety), that it was a matter of surviving day to day. Making sure they were clothed, fed, and off to school was about all I could manage. I did (and do) love and support them with all my heart, and I don’t think they’ve ever doubted that, but I wasn’t a terribly good mother in the physical (and sometimes emotional) sense.
For most of our marriage, my ex and I had a very loving relationship. Even towards the end, we tried to show how people who can’t agree on much can still work together. I think we are still modeling a good parental relationship, even though we’ve been divorced for 7 years. The divorce was a sad experience for all of us, needless to say, but in all honesty, we are all happier now, even the kids.
My relationship with my girls has always been a very cerebral and emotional one. As a result, I think they are very contemplative people… prone to deep thinking, which may not be so good for a joyful demeanor. They definitely do feel joy, but may not be as open to it as I’d like for them to be. The good news is, we are all quite capable of random silliness that is full of joy! I think and hope they love themselves, but at least one of them is way too hard on herself. She’s been that way since birth, though.
The oldest is heading off to college this fall and the others are 1 and 3 years behind her, so I guess we’ll see how well they fare on her own soon enough.