Some comedian (George Carlin perhaps) did a bit on this very thing. The premise being, “Wouldn’t it just blow their mind if you took them up on the offer?”
“As a matter of fact Bob, would you be so kind as to food shop for me? Here’s some money – let me write up a list. Oh, and could you put it all away for me?”
or
“Ya know, now that you mention it, my grass in is need of a mow. Could you come by Saturday?”
When my father died, the people that truly wanted to do something simply did. Sent flowers, dropped off food, called often to check in.
It amounted to about three people out of the two-hundred or so that showed up at the wake and offered up that tried and true sentiment.
I wish people just wouldn’t say it all. You can express regret and love without making an offer you have no intention of following up on.
Recently, I had a friend laid up from an operation. I called her one day and said, “I’m going food shopping this week – how ‘bout you text me a list and I’ll pick up stuff for you?” She declined (as they were full up on food), but she was thrilled at the offer.
I think it helps to be specific if you intend to do anything at all.