I’ve had a lot of sleepless nights for years, and days I had to go through with not much sleep in my body. It’s a bit odd, because at first, I like get this energy kick. I get all motivated about my day, even though I feel like shit and my eyes are itchy. Eventually it just droops and I try my best to go through everything.
I’m not cranky throughout the day, but I am either distant, (even more so than usual XD) or I laugh at everything. Usually I just can’t wait to sleep again, whether I’m busy or could go to sleep right now. (I’m always afraid I won’t be able to sleep though, no matter how tired I am) I’m pretty sure I have bad sleeping problems, although beer can do wonders for that lol.
There seems to be some weird sense that kicks in though, I guess whatever energy my body can give me, that makes me act and see things slightly differently. My thoughts end up kind of distorted and wild, and sometimes it makes me feel anxious or worried, OR hyper and happy for no real reason, although those last two don’t last very long.
I’ve also had auditory hallucinations from not sleeping enough, and I even passed out at work once. That was odd. Doesn’t happen much now because of all the drinking. Sometimes I wonder if the only reason I ever took it up was so I could get some damn sleep lol. Been drinking way less lately though, and I actually DO fall asleep. Which is odd, since I was informed that quitting drinking can fuck your sleep up real bad. :/
No anger or frustration much when going on without much sleep, just blitzstorms in my brain and slight malfunctioning motor skills.
But when I’m trying to sleep and I can’t, don’t cross my path. It’s this whole battle I always fucking loose. Try not to think of anything, besides how comfortable the bed is. Try counting sheep. Seriously. That actually worked a few times, even though most sheep never make the jump…but mostly, the sheep turn into refrigerators that jump over laughing shotgun mushrooms, and everything turns into complex yet braindead thinking and I just can’t sleep. Memories, movies, clothes, incidents, shit I’ve read, anything. Like a slideshow with a Q&A that won’t end. It’s really fucking bullshit when you went to bed six hours ago, and then, the light of dawn pops in your window. Then I get pissed off and throw things, hit walls, bang my head with my fists hoping to exhaust myself, and throw my pillows across the bedroom. I never mean to harm my pillows…
I realize I should probably see a doctor about this, but I didn’t then, so I’m probably never going to now, since the sleep problems haven’t been pestering me so much lately.