When I was younger, like elementary through high school, I realize I didn’t really choose most of my friends so much, they all just kinda came to me. Not that I didn’t decide to be friends with those people, but many of those friendships wouldn’t have happened or lasted if those people hadn’t taken the initiative to be in my life. I had a lot more social problems back then though.
I didn’t get to go to college. So I don’t have everyone’s typical college years/friends.
Now that I’m older (22) and more assertive and more social and much more aware of how the people in my life affect it, I’m much more selective about who I will develop close friendships with. And I’m also very aware these days of the benefits of having a lot of casual friendships as well. Before whoever came up and start talking to me/wanted to hang out with me that I got along with alright ended up being good friends. These days, I meet lots and lots of people. And I slowly get to know them, and if I feel like they’re someone I want more involved in my life I’ll let them in more. But also, if I start spending some time with someone and I realize they’re not the type of person I want to be super close with I’ll keep them in the casual friend pool. Usually I’m a good enough judge to initially know if I’ll even want to hang out with someone at all.
I still have a handful of my older friends, though many are not in my life a whole lot because more of them have moved away or been busy with their own lives or already lived far away and are busy. I still keep in touch with them all and see them when I can. I really appreciate those relationships a lot now. But I also have come to really appreciate new friends and garnering new relationships with people that I really choose to have in my life and get close to.
And many of these newer friendships have been much more positive connections in my life then ever before and its nice to have people like that who aren’t always going to see me as the old me. I’ve had a few really close friends I had to basically cut out of my life because they just could not let me become the person I was turning into. Or they did something to make it clear we just could not continue being friends. Which is when I realized old friends can be nice but they aren’t welcome in my life if they can’t accept that I’m a different person now. And I’m not going to forgive things they did that crossed a line for me, the old me would have let it slide ‘cause I didn’t have many friends so I held onto to everyone tight. New me usually has more friends then I can manage, and much more self-confidence and self-respect and I don’t care how long I knew someone, if they make it clear they’re just going to be a negative force in my life then I’ll be gone.