Unsolicited, my best friend’s brother, a man my best friend adored and looked up to, told me he was gay. Now, this was actually obvious since he had been living with another guy, his partner, for several years. I am sure he told me because he knew I wouldn’t care.
It made me incredibly uncomfortable and seemed like an impossible position, because I knew that if he told her she would have a hard time dealing with it. (He also knew that.) I also knew that if when he told her he was gay, he also told her that he had told me some time earlier, she would be furious with me for not telling her.
In the end, after thinking about it a long time, I told her. I am still not sure it was the best decision. She loved him and tried to pretend it didn’t matter, but for a while it really bothered her. She was angry with me for telling her. (I violated their don’t ask, don’t tell pact). Also, it was easier for her to be angry with me than with him.
I came out of it feeling manipulated since I think he wanted her to know, but did not want to tell her so he used me to do it.
Now, I avoid hearing someone’s secrets whenever possible.