Sorry for the interruption. The keyboard suddenly vanished and refused to come back up until I switched browsers and started another post. The whole Android OS has been crazy since the ICS upgrade.
Anyhow, its just a matter of time before he will realize why for himself when he realizes that other people don’t live like this.
If you hope to have any effect on his parents, particularly Mom, maybe you could get a copy of a recent ABC program about the children of hoarders and how this has impacted their lives. It was heartbreaking to hear them speak about never inviting friends over to their house, etc.
If there is any empathy or compassion left in either parent, maybe they will be motivated to change for the sake of the child, if nothing else.
Even tho not telling him the brutal truth about why you don’t come in with him, just be sure that you make it crystal clear each time he asks that it has absolutely nothing to do with him or his fault. in any way. Kids have an uncanny way of. (illogically) blaming themselves for the crap n their parents lives. This happens with kids of divorce all the time. They think somehow its because of them.
Whatever excuse you’ve been making, just lovingly reassure him that its not his fault and emphasize how much you love it when he comes to visit with you even tho you. don’t have the tice to come in his house with him when you drive him back. Hopefully, in time, he will just accept that as the way it is until he is old enough. to where the real reason becomes obvious. When that day comes, I think hell be grateful to you for the kindness.
Im usually the type who feels that being honest with kids about difficult subjects (death, addiction, etc. ) in this case I think it just burdens him unnecessarily for no useful purpose.