What do you really want? It sounds to me like you’d like to know he’ll be there when you get back. It sounds to me like you hope he’s already feeling as strong about you as you feel about him. Would you make a commitment to him at this point? Or are you really just at where you want to see what will happen?
Why do people not want to be too strong? I think they believe they will scare someone off. I don’t quite get that. Like, maybe you are a fisherman, and you have to reel the fish in gently, or else it will fight and get away? Or you have to tire it out in order to get it in the boat?
I guess it’s different for women than for men. Maybe you have to make the man feel like it is his idea. I don’t know. I don’t understand.
I always went for what I wanted. I might think I should hold back and play it cool, but I was never cool. I couldn’t hold back. When I fell in love, it was too strong for me to do anything but make it clear to the woman that I wanted her. Desperately, completely, with all my heart. Either she could handle it and wanted it, or she couldn’t and rejected me. Either way, it was clear.
So that was my approach. If I wanted her, I told her, and whatever happened, happened. I didn’t try to manage it. I couldn’t.
Maybe women are different. Maybe you can manage things. Maybe you can play a guy. Keep your agenda hidden somehow while you work him around to your way of seeing things. If you can do that, good luck. For me, I’d lay my cards on the table and see what happens. No messing around. Life is too short for that.