im not trying to brag, but people always say im a good listener. firstly, you have to know when someone needs to be listened to. if they dont want to talk, then they dont have to. also, my mind is always focused on the problem at hand. if the problem was that they had a crappy day, then its just a rant and theres no need for suggestions. if something more serious is going on like domestic abuse (yes people have come to me with this kind of problem, and yes im only 18) i dont pressure them into doing something. i just lay out all the options and let them choose. after all, its their life.
the listener might be in a situation where he needs to be somewhere else or just needs to go. in this case, stop the conversation at a point where the talker could reflect on the ideas given by the listener. i like to call this “aided reflection”.
also, make eye contact, dont look at her boobs (if shes a girl), and dont be too afraid to use body contact, but use it sparingly because if you’re always touching him/her, then when they’re in a serious slump, it wont help as much because its just a normal thing. in other words, save the pat on the back or the hug for when the talker needs it most, because it seems more special if its more rare.