A lot of things Friday night. Unfortunately I hardly remember any of it.

@tups: At least you made it home safe apparently!

Stuttering while answering the phone, at work.

Well…I thought it funny, but my 24 yr. old daughter was mortified that I was offering a glass G-spot dildo at my yard sale over the weekend. haha
It wasn’t like I put it out where children could find it, and it certainly plays into my inane sense of humor, but according to my daughter it was just wrong!
She said ” MOM! I can’t believe you did that! Have you EVER seen a used sex toy store?” lolol

My reasoning was that it was solid glass. I would not put out some disgusting old rubber toy. Gimme SOME credit for being discriminating.
It did generate some humorous conversation. :-p

Let’s see, it was just this morning. I was sitting at my computer when my chair decided to lower itself automatically. It is an old wooden desk chair with metal bits that let it go up and down. Apparently it had been jammed in a certain position, so when it dropped, all sorts of metal dust (like filings but smaller) came pouring out. After I ensured that my spine was not, in fact, severed from the fall, I got the sweeper out to clean up the metal dust. Waving the sweeper wand in the air whilst re-positioning the chair caused me to inadvertently suck all the babies off my spider plant.

@bookish1 Yeah, but not without a few burns.:/

@Neizvestnaya I know that feeling for sure.

Fallen for someone who apparently is unable to be attracted to me (based on my gender).

In my class this morning, I was sitting in my completely silent classroom taking notes, when I yawn. It turns out it was actually a burp, the loudest one in creation.

The boy who has been flirting for weeks leans in, sniffs, and says, “Regretting that Egg McMuffin now, I bet”

The worst part is he was right about my breakfast selection.

@athenasgriffin : That’s…. pretty damn embarrassing O_O Sometimes you just don’t know they’re coming!! People need to be more understanding…

If it makes you feel any better, I have ripped farts in class by accident.

@bookish1 I must say it was truly terrible. But on the bright side, he used the excuse to try to ask me on a date to show me “decent cuisine options.” I didn’t know whether to applaud his opportunism or deride his timing.

@athenasgriffin : Oh wow, well that sounds like a happy ending to me! Who knows, maybe he has been looking for an opening to ask you out for weeks! Good luck ;)

I thought I shot a man in Reno, you know, just to watch him die.

Turns out we were actually in Carson City.

awkward

@Blondesjon Well, as long as you didn’t shoot the shrriff, only the deputy, it’s all good. lol

So I got an ice cream cone this weekend and I was standing in the park eating it. I got down towards the end, and I was trying to unwrap the paper by holding the cone with my fingers and pulling the paper. Instead, the cone failed, breaking and spurting white ice cream all over my shirt and pants. It looked like someone had cum on me.

Sadly, this is the closest I’ve come to sex in a good while.

@wundayatta lololololol…only YOU would make that analogy. hahaha

Okay….I should further explain my yard sale dildo moment…glass can be sterilized and my toy WAS sterilized. Just to be clear. So this couple who had bought a cat toy, a crinkly fold out tube that I called “The tunnel of fun”, was cracking up when I said…“speaking of the tunnel of fun maybe you to the woman would like to see another little gem I have over here. ” lolol

They were rolling! See… not everyone was uptight about second hand dildos. :-P

@wundayatta: Ohh, how sad. I haven’t had that happen to me since I was a kid :-/

@Coloma: FWIW, I wasn’t grossed out at the thought of you selling a used glass dildo. Because you can sterilize glass. DUHHH! :-p

Farted in the queue at the bank, blamed this old guy in front of me though.
That’s what they’re there for, easy targets see.

@Coloma: So the question is: Did anybody buy the thing?

I would say the most embarassing thing that happened to me lately was I didn’t recognize someone who works for the same employer (an employer with thousands of employees in various departments, though) and I had seen her several times before. At a training, I asked her “Where do you work?” and she said “You know me!” I played it off but I felt like an idiot.

@jca Yeah, that’s pretty embarrassing. I have trouble recognizing from what context I know people, and sometimes I fail to recognize people in my own department if we are at the grocery store or a cafe or something like that!

@jca No, it is home again, back with it’s comrades in my undie drawer. lol
@bookish1 Right, my sentiments exactly, a little bleach water bath renders the glass sterile and ready to carry on with what it was created for. haha

@Coloma: To me, it’s no fun unless it vibrates LOL.

@jca Agreed! One must have the hum. lol

Oooh…reminds of when I came home one night last year to my walls humming and almost called my neighbors husband over because I thought my house was shorting out. haha
Then, I discovered a toy that had somehow turned itself on pun intended and had vibrated it’s way down to the wooden bottom of the dresser drawer inside my closet.
I must have slammed the drawer and activated the situation. lol

Thank god, I would have been soooo humiliated!

@Coloma: And that reminds me… I had a very powerful toy that kept turning itself on while it was just sitting on a shelf. I thought it must be a poltergeist! It actually broke because it rolled off the shelf in its throes of passion! I miss it :’-(

@bookish1 LOL…..a poltervibe. haha