Normal is a term that changes constanty throughout time and probably has no concrete definition other than “what the majority of individuals think, dress, and do.” Be yourself, it’s fine and great that you found someone you can share it with. Just don’t OD on sleeping meds.

By definition, I think your girlfriend is the somnophiliac. If you are both adults and it is consensual, I don’t see a problem. I’m more concerned that you need sleeping pills to be honest.

Is there a difference between stuff and “stuff”?

@bkcunningham
well the pills were prescribed due to worries over bills which were causing me to lose vast amounts of sleep up to the point where I’d sleep up to 3 hours a day which isn’t enough by any doctor’s standards.

Surely the willingness to be the sleeper counts as a somnophiliac also right? I mean we are both participating so to speak, me as the “inanimate object she has control over” and her being the one who takes control.

Surely somnophilia applies to both the sleeping person and the person doing stuff regardless of roles providing that the sleeping party finds it erotic too?

@gailcalled
Well there’s “stuff” as in sexual stuff, And then there’s “stuff” regarding what else she does with me, Maybe I should have been clearer with that part :)

It sounds a little weird to me, but you’re both consenting adults who are both enjoying yourselves, so who really cares what other people think, or if it’s normal? I know I enjoy morning sex, which is like a distant cousin of what you’re describing.

I think generally, in most cases, somnophiacs don’t know their sexual partner.

Sorry to hear about your worries. I hope things are improving.

@bkcunningham It’s fine, We all have our bad times with bills and worries, I just wanted peoples opinion on it, It seems taboo for many people but for many other’s it also seems normal, I always used to hate on myself for it though as I’d never really heard of anyone being into the whole sleepy thing so I used to just drum it into my head that I was somehow not normal etc.

Thanks for your reply :)

I love to be awakened to my husband turned on and touching me. I like to lay very still and pretend to be asleep and let him work to wake me up completely. I think it is a turn on for both of us. I understand what you guys do is different, but everybody has their turn-ons and they may not be for everyone. I think it is good you’ve found a fit with her. Don’t beat yourself up. Sweet dreams. ; )

Oh, and welcome to Fluther.

@bkcunningham

Thank you very much :)
This place is friendlier than I’d imagined ^_^

Oh man! Sign me up! I love to be awakened that way. And gladly return the favor. Mmmm.

So did you make it really clear to your girlfriend that you consent to all this? She gets that, right?

I think it’s really lucky that you both share the same kink, or that she’s at least willing to explore it with you. The only issue I see here is consent, because when you’re passed out like that you don’t have any say in what’s going on. I get that that’s part of the turn-on, but you should still sit down with your girlfriend and have a really specific talk about what you are/aren’t comfortable with. Like, “I’m ok with baby powder, but peanut butter is a no-go,” or what have you, so she doesn’t accidentally cross some line.

The only other thing I’m worried about, safety-wise, is using sleeping pills recreationally. You had an actual sleeping problem and got the perscription, so this time sounds like more of a happy accident, I think.

Oh, and I think this would make a great question for “savage love.” If you read that column, you’ll see all kinds of people with unusual kinks… you’re definitely not alone.

It sounds like it’s your gf who is into this which is no big deal unless she’s actually a necrophiliac and see your pills as as a bridge to…

It’s completely normal and quite enjoyable.
Enjoy it while you have it.

I am curious as to how you or anyone else could stay asleep during all of this “stuff” without sleeping pills. Anyone know?

@Haleth Yeah she knows I consent to it all, Shortly after we first met and I used to stay over she used to give me light caresses etc while I was asleep and she told me about it the next morning, And then we spent almost an hour discussing it properly and I gave her the OK to do stuff if she wanted, I mean I totally trust her with it so why not :)

@Neizvestnaya No she is most certainly not one of those, A necrophiliac prefers dead people whereas a Somnophiliac prefers the person to be very much alive but sleeping..

@Supacase Well it depends doesn’t it? For instance, If I couldn’t get to sleep for say.. 2 nights in a row and stayed up all day and night for those 2 nights, On the 3rd night when I do finally fall asleep, I’ll be catching up on 16 hours of sleep and would be so out of it that nothing would wake me, It’s the same when you take sleeping medication, Depending on the dosage the person takes, They would either stir or just remain almost comatose until they wake up 7–8 hours later.
It Just depends on the circumstances revolving the sleeping person that defines if they wake up or not during any “stuff” that happens.

@blueiiznh Thank you, We both enjoy it so I don’t see the harm in it myself :)