I have the same challenge, although for different reasons. Here is what I have learned from good listeners.
* They stop whatever they are doing and focus on what is being said.
* They do not jump to conclusions.
* They do not try to problem-solve unless asked to do so.
* They ask questions to aid in a better understanding. These questions start with open-ended statements, like ‘Who’, ‘What’, ‘Where’, ‘How’, and ‘Why’. They are not delivered in a tone that would put the person on defense.
* The “Feel/Felt/Found” process is used. Basically, it is, “I understand how you feel. Others have felt the same way. What they have found is….”
* Avoid using words like, ‘but’ and ‘however’. The message that precedes it is negated by whatever follows.
* Follow up with the person. A simple, “We talked X amount of time ago. How are you doing?” will provide insightful information.
While these tips might come naturally to some, practice can accomplish the same result.