@woodcutter I don’t see anything wrong with the term “adult child.” It’s understood.
@AshlynM I think it depends on the family. First, 21 is not really very adult from a parent’s point of view in America I would think. 21 year olds are often still in college or just really getting out on their own. Most parents still want to help their kids here and there when a child is still so young if they have the money to be able to do so. If you example was a 30 year old, then it would be very different in my mind.
If the family tends to always give birthday presents forever to each other, then probably nothing wrong with someone saying what they want for their birthday. I would never do it, I wouldn’t expect anythng for my birthday. My parents give me money every year, but if they didn’t one year I would not care for a second, and I would not say anything. So, even though they do give me money every year and have set a orecedent, I personally wouldn’t say anything. But, maybe money is different than a present given at a party or dinner.
However, my parents do have some rituals when they come to visit me. One is to take me shopping, sometimes my husband too, and I never pay them back. I tried the first couple times, and then stopped offering. Plus, they many times give me extra money when they visit. A little gift money at the end of their stay. So, anyway, I do presume when we go shopping they will pay for everything at this point at the checkout, but generally it is inexpensive things, maybe it all adds up to $50—$150. $150 if my husband came along also, which he doesn’t always do, and sometimes even with us both it is less than $100, it just depends.
So, I guess when my parents visit is kind of the birthday/Christmas situation for me.