I have been attending baptist church since I was very young. I go occasionally now, for the social interaction of my children with other kids their ages.
Most ‘Christians’ I run into appear to use religion as a way to overcompensate for other areas of their life where they are imbalanced or willfully choosing something other than health.
In my experience, the louder a Christian is; the more they have jacked up their personal life. My experience includes my personal experience. When in my 20’s I was the one that was at the church every time the doors were open: teaching Sunday School, leading the choir, singing solos, teaching Bible Studies, etc. I was doing all of this to try to balance out how terrible I felt about myself and to balance out the private ‘sins’ I was dealing with. So, yep, I was the loud one, whom I referred to earlier, back then.
Upon a short life time of examination (38 years). I have seen passages misused in the Bible in a myriad of ways to support one’s agenda, plan, motive, or financial need. For instance, my parents use the Bible to justify isolating themselves from their children and Grandchildren, and to also justify living in a place where they can barely pay their bills while busying themselves with 5 jobs.
I believe in God, and have an active relationship with Him. Conversely, I believe that God gave me a brain and a dream for a reason. If He wanted automatons then he would have made robots or something. More and more I find that God is leading me to balance of heart and mind. So I pursue healthy, purposeful relationships with my family and who ever else is open to them. This sounds peaceful and harmonious but the challenges of a blended family are daily.
I don’t generally share this information with others, but for fluthers I am always willing to make an exception. I find that good boundaries are the solution for any problems which one might run into in a given church, that and following one’s gut.