I did. I knew that my husband was the second favorite of two, and I knew that they had thought the world of his first wife, and I knew that I could not be the sociable, outgoing charmer that my sister-in-law was (is). That’s three strikes.
Add to that the fact that I was practically incapable of carrying on a friendly conversation with them because they were the sort of folks who basically talk only about people (themselves, relatives, friends, neighbors) and not anything requiring thought, and my disadvantages were overwhelming. All the holidays and birthdays and family events that we had to spend with them were, for me, more of an ordeal to get through than a pleasant family gathering.
There was never any balancing out of families, either, because they lived about a half hour away and my family was on the other coast. However, it’s only fair to say that I found my own parents a little bit suffocating too.
I earnestly and sincerely hope that if and when I become a mother-in-law, I can be the warm, welcoming, and accepting person I’d have wished they could be. I’ve been practicing on sons’ girlfriends for some 14 years now, and I think it’s a good sign that they willingly spend a lot of time at our house and seem to feel at home here.