My choice: The Romney campaign secretly releases a sex tape between Obama and Palin.
The Obama campaign responds by releasing a sex tape between Romney and his wife.

You know Romney’s wife is calling out “Barack”

Romney is caught in a men’s room with a “wide stance” tapping his foot.
Obama is caught sexting Hillary Clinton.

Bland Romney is actually a time-traveling older Mae Whitman, and Tagg Romney is a never-nude.

Photos of Mitt Romney on a beach in Hawaii barechested are released.

President Obama’s college transcripts get released anonymously, revealing that he failed calculus. The Democrats attempt to spin this by repeating the old myth that Einstein failed algebra. The Republicans, meanwhile, finally decide that fact checking is worthwhile after all and make sure everyone knows that Einstein received top marks in every math and science class he ever took. Undecided voters accept the Republican spin, but decide that what the transcript proves is that Obama really is just a regular guy after all. The president wins reelection in a landslide.

Obama’s birth certificate is revealed to be signed by a Hawaiian.

Republican argue that Obama is not eligible to be president since Hawaii hasn’t been a state for long enough.

“Rmoney” could reveal his telepathic powers, and the information the beings from the Pleades provide him. They are, of course, telling him to not forget to wear his special underwear.

And for something serious – Israel bombs Iran – which would really f**k up the world.

If we could make a list today, they wouldn’t qualify as surprises.

Every single politician dies paving the way for Romney to take his seat in the oval orifice unopposed.

Romney is really a robot sent by the church of scientology.
Obama really isn’t black and was sent by SNL
Paul Ryan is really gay. (not a stretch)
Biden, well is an old man and well hung. (Thats why the pretty mrs. Biden)