I’ll write it for you. for a fee. lol
Tip #1 Do not use the word ” gotta”, ever, in any report! :-)

shit.. i gotta stop doin that

lol, actually, I was just teaching someone how to use fluther and I know they had this question in mind. So, I used it for them. :)

@Coloma did you see this ted vid about a fully scientific study submitted by 9 year-olds written partially in crayon and beginning with “Once upon a time…”

lol. Maybe one day “gotta” will be accepted as well.

Tip #2. Capitalize all proper nouns, such as Monday.

Tip #3: start with an introductory paragraph that outlines that the report is about—what problem or question it addresses and how it addresses it.

Tip #4: encourage tipsters with lurve.

I’m lurvin it!

Procrastination writing, eh? Depends on the kind and length of report.

For big research papers I like to do an outline as @wundayatta suggests, then take the quotes I want to use and set them where they go. Then I “grow” the outline using my quote-intro and quote-interpretive (pre- and post- quote sentences) thoughts, and then flesh it all out with my notes. It’s a bit of a messy process and absolutely requires at least one major revision, but it’s a very fast way to write a lot, and often hangs together surprisingly nicely.

For little five-pagers, they usually just want you to develop one interpretive point well or get through some solid exegetical writing, so I’d say it’s best to power through those in the normal hourglass way: intro with a general statement, narrow to specific, with thesis at the “point”, then several paragraphs to build evidence for the thesis (optional: add one paragraph presenting at least one opposing viewpoint and a paragraph to tear that opposing viewpoint to shreds), and conclude. Make sure ends of paragraphs refer both to the beginning of that paragraph and to the thesis, transition between them, and you’ll be gold.