I was 19, and in a pretty new relationship when it happened. I came unhinged, to be honest. Having grown up with a single mom who had me at 19, I saw my future becoming the mirror of my mother’s life – and my child’s future mirroring my life, and it was terrifying. We were dirt poor, she was miserable, I’d been abused… it wasn’t a pretty picture, that’s for sure.
I was torn between the logical idea of aborting, and the fact that if my mother had done so, I wouldn’t even be here to make this decision. My mother said that while abortion wasn’t for her, she thought it was the best thing to do in my case. My boyfriend voted for abortion, but said he’d support whatever decision I made. Every time I saw a baby, or heard a baby, I cried. Trying to decide what to do was agony.
Long story short(er), sometime before 8 weeks, I ended up in the emergency room with horrible pain in my stomach, and they thought I might be miscarrying. Due to my age, they asked me if they should try to save the pregnancy, and I was finally forced to make a choice. I said “No”, and sobbed my head off. As it turned out, I wasn’t having a miscarriage, but the fact that I’d been forced to choose in the moment let me see what my course of action should be. My boyfriend accompanied me and I had the abortion. It was heartbreaking, and still is sometimes, but I still think it was the wisest choice for us at the time.
The boyfriend and I ended up getting married a year later, and eight years after that, we started having planned children. Three wonderful daughters, who’ve had a much better childhood than I did. Even though we’re now divorced (after 17 years of marriage), we still work hard to be good parents to our children.
@jonsblond and @Blondesjon I’m so glad it worked out for you guys. <3